“Moving is one of life’s most stressful events”

I’ve moved a lot in the years since I’ve graduated university…and that doesn’t include all the times I’ve moved while I’ve been in university (check out the Full List below).

I often think about the friends I “left behind” in each of these moves and/or life events. At the same time, I feel like social media is my tool of choice to maintain and even to strengthen many of the friendships I’ve made over the years.

Facebook Friends or Real Friends?

The morning after the news broke about record rainfalls and flooding in Houston due to Hurricane Harvey, I woke up to many messages from friends inquiring about my family and friends. The people who asked weren’t just in Texas, but also in Turkey, The Netherlands, Tunisia, Russia, and elsewhere. And I won’t say this is the first time - I was also impressed by the number of people who reached out to me last year in the aftermath of Pulse nightclub and I am impressed every year by the people who reach out on my birthday.

These are people that I’ve met and befriended on the road or who were on the road and probably wouldn’t have any vested interest in the events in Texas had our paths never crossed.

“This 3x5 size device lets me talk to anyone anywhere on Earth at anytime I want.”

To me, and maybe to many of you, the line between “Facebook” friend and “real” friend has become blurred. The Digital Revolution has brought about mass connectivity and allowed us to share thoughts and ideas nearly free and nearly instantaneously across the globe. I will frequently point to my phone and brag that “this 3x5 size device lets me talk to anyone anywhere on Earth at anytime I want.” And this doesn’t just include text-based messages, although many of us may prefer this medium, but also includes audio and video.

I would also like to emphasize that the wonderful thing about my “Facebook friends” is that I’ve met nearly all, if not all, in person. Today, I very rarely meet people exclusively online…but rather, I’ve met them in person, and connect on Facebook or LinkedIn in order to stay connected afterwards.

Social Media as a Tool

Several of my best friends don’t live in the same city, state, country, or even continent as myself or each other.

To me, social media isn’t a toy, but instead it is a tool. It is a tool that has kept many of my friendships alive, both personal and professional. Many of which may not otherwise have remained alive due not only to my various moves over the past few years, but also due to geographic isolation - a barrier that has separated people for the entirety of human history.

Social Media also serves (or can serve) to breakdown many of the other barriers that separate us - religion, nationality, culture etc.

Probably all of you know that I travel at pretty much any opportunity I have and the result of this has given me the opportunity to expand my world-view though people and lots of friends with different backgrounds than my own. At the same time, I constantly hope that my friendship with these individuals paints a positive picture of my nationality and culture.

I’ve also made them part of my network of friends. I have, as much as they have, a vested interest in their families, in their cultures, in their languages, in their person.

Social media hasn’t just allowed me to make friends across the globe, it’s allowed me to keep friends across the globe.

“Real” Friends are Still Important

Of course, having friends physically present is incredibly important as well. I feel that without social media, it would be nearly impossible for me to create long-term relationships with the amount of moving I’ve been doing.

Of course, I make new friends wherever I go…as those of you who know me will nearly invariably say I’m outgoing/extroverted…but, making friends isn’t the same as keeping friends or becoming close friends.

Wherever I’ve ended up, I’ve always been able to make some “real” friends or at least some drinking friends. Also, I’ve almost always been able to find at least one really close friend who has kept me going even if from afar on social media.

As I’ve moved from place to place, I’m fortunate to still be able to keep in touch with the close friends I’ve made along the way. Even those who have not been as close, I’m still able to check-in on when I login to social media.

I’m wishing everyone in Houston and the rest of Texas a speedy path to recovery, and I’m hoping that we don’t see any sort of repeat with Irma in Florida…both are areas where many of my friends still live.

Stay safe y’all.

Safe travels and happy surfing!

Josh S =P

Afterthoughts

Although I’ve found it quite easy to find links online claiming that moving is “the third most stressful life event” according to “studies”, I haven’t found a single one of these that actually links to the study/studies.

And if you yourself are moving there are, of course, articles on how to deal with the stress of moving.